Etiquette when speaking to a pregnant women!

(This is a PSA for anyone who interacts with a pregnant women and opens their mouth to speak!!)

     It seems like everyone forgets basic manners when they speak to a pregnant women. Or they just don't realize that what they are saying comes off incredibly rude! To be completely honest, I was guilty of saying some of the things that I now, as a preggo, know to be inappropriate. So I wanted to give a PSA to inform the masses.

Here is me at 14 weeks:

I was attending a friends wedding and wore a dress that was tight over my belly. I think it was the first time a number of people had seen me where I was actually starting to show. Thus, I received endless comments all night about my size. Examples:

- Wow- you look so big!

- You're only 3 months?! You look like you're 5 months!

- Are you sure there are not twins in there?!

- You've already popped, and that usually doesn't happen until 5-6 months!

- You're getting big!!

Now I understand that "big" is a relative term to describe a pregnant belly, but it is not a flattering term by any means. Being told I was "big" all night does nothing for my self-esteem and made me feel incredibly self-conscience. Instead of being proud that I was carrying a little life inside my body, I was focused on trying to suck my stomach in to minimize it's size. Needless to say, I went home in a very down and out state.

And all throughout my pregnancy, as I continue to grow more and more, the comments keep coming!

- How far along are you? (About 5 months! I'm so excited to be a mom!) Still 4 months to go? You are going to be HUGE!!!!!

- (this was from a stranger in a fast food restaurant) Make way for the pregnant lady! You almost ready to have that baby? (No ma'am. I still have about 3 months to go.) Really?! I thought you were 9 months and about to pop! That is going to be a BIG baby!! (Thanks a lot.... 😕)

So here are some of the appropriate things to say to a pregnant woman: 

-You look beautiful!

-You are absolutely glowing!

-You are growing a sweet baby in there!

-You are the cutest pregnant lady!

-Your baby bump is so adorable!

-Pregnancy looks good on you!

30 weeks & pee covered hands

30 weeks!! Thank god!! 3/4 of the way through this thing! Here's what's been happening this week:

     My back is in full blown hurting mode. That, coupled with the lingering effects of my little cold, has me taking Tylenol and Sudafed (along with the horse pill that is my prenatal vitamin!). I'm going to invest in a heating pad and possibly a pregnancy belly band to help my back. I'll update if any of that works.

     I had my 30 week doctor appointment yesterday (just 11 days since my last appointment) and I have come to a sad realization: peeing in a cup is no longer a clean affair. I used to just pop a squat on the porcelain goddess, release the flow, bend over to get a good sight line, swoop the cup in there and collect. Those quick and easy days are done, at least for the next 10 weeks. Try as I might to bend over and get a good sight now, my ever expanding belly is completely in the way! So once the flow starts I blindly thrust the little cup underneath me and hope for the best. Unfortunately, "the best" now is a half-filled cup and plenty of pee on my hand. These are things that other moms don't tell you happens, so I'm happy to pass on these gems! My only source of happiness, after having my hand soaked in my own urine, is comparing my sample to the other samples (if there are others waiting to be collected.) So far, my sample has always been the lightest color on  the shelf. And I give a knowing smile with the knowledge that I just won the "Sample game."

      I'm trying to be as transparent as possible about my pregnancy. Showing all aspects of the journey- instead of just the smiles and the "glow", and the baby kicks. If you ever have questions, however off the wall, please feel free to ask!!

29 weeks... A little different pic

After putting off taking the 29 week baby progress picture for two days, I just wanted to skip it. But my husband wasn't having any of that- he LIVES for these pictures apparently and needs one each weekly. So I got extra creative this week and suggested that HE was the subject of the picture. Amazingly, he obliged! Below is the fantastic result! 

28 weeks and I'm over being pregnant!

     "28 week- baby is the size of a bowl of cereal" Who comes up with this stuff?! a bowl of cereal?! So if she gets into a ball in my uterus she will be that size? Or does she weight the approximate weight of a bowl of cereal? And what size bowl are we talking about here? Because I've eaten cereal from a bowl that is MUCH larger than standard dish size! Whatever way you slice it, it's a strange comparison, but it's definitely more interesting that the old fashioned 'baby is this fruit' description!

     28 weeks means that I have my last monthly doctors appointment, which was today in fact, and I'll be seeing my doctor every two weeks for now on. I got the TDAP shot today (which includes the whopping cough) and now my arm hurts like a bitch! Luckily the doctor warned me about the after pain, but it still hurts! Baby's heartbeat was right on track, as was my weight gain, so doctor was happy overall. Appointments every 2 weeks makes it hard for me to organize my work schedule, but it's also exciting because that means the end is in sight! I can see the light at the end of this baby tunnel!!

     28 weeks also means that I am OVER being pregnant. I am DONE. I am not "glowing" and I am not emanating with the joy that is pregnancy. But god forbid I ever post something like that on Facebook! I can just imagine the negative Nancy's now: "Well you wanted this," "Just suck it up," "This is what you asked for," "Enjoy it, you'll miss it when it's over," "Don't forget about people who can't get pregnant," etc. Facebook has definitely turned into a breeding place of those who feel like they need to express all of their opinions and make others feel badly.

     Now, when I say that I'm "over being pregnant" I don't mean that I regret going on this journey- far from it! I don't want her to come now either- she needs to cook so she is as healthy as possible. I just want to blink my eyes and fast forward to her delivery day! Pregnancy is a "miracle" and "magical" and I truly feel that whenever she kicks and moves. But pregnancy sucks. It really sucks. Watching your body put on more and more weight, your back is in constant pain from said weight, having blood drawn more times in 9 months then in the last 9 years of my life, being on light duty at my job, not being able to help around the house like I want to, the food/medicine/etc restrictions, clothes not fitting, I can go on and on! Also, third trimester pregnancy in the dead heat of Florida summer is less than ideal (it was 99 degrees yesterday with a heat index of 111 degrees!) So at this point in my journey to motherhood, I feel the complete opposite of "magical'. Here's to hoping the next 12 weeks go by quickly!!

1.5 years trying to conceive

     My husband and I started trying to conceive on our wedding night. Basically, he stopped pulling out. We were so elated and ready to start our family! I vividly remember taking a pregnancy test three days before my period was suppose to start and seeing the negative test result discouraged me a little, but 'it was only our first few weeks trying, it'll happen next month.'

     Every month that passed, and each period that came, I just become more and more discouraged. I would read about teenagers having sex twice and getting pregnant and I wondered why it was so easy for them and so hard for us.

     About 9 months of trying with no luck was when the tears start. Each time I would get my period I would call my husband in tears. Then I would see stories of women who had their babies and left them to die in trash cans in alleyways. Stories of moms smothering their infants. Awful stories. And instead of grieving for those lost little souls, I had a pity party. Why were those women, who were so obviously unfit to have children, able to get pregnant while I was struggling? It all seemed so unfair.

     At 10 months with no luck we went to a fertility center to look for some answers. We spoke with the doctor. I had extensive blood work done, and John had to do a sperm analysis test (which he was surprisingly ok with and completely rather quickly!) All of the results came back fine- no problems so far. Then the doctor took a peek inside my body. It was discovered that I had endometriosis, but nothing so serious that it would prevent me from getting pregnant. I was told that I had a pocket of hostile fluid in my uterus that basically attacked my egg each month so it wasn't viable and the same fluid also attacked sperm when it was present in my uterus. I was devastated. I felt like my body was fighting against me and what I wanted. I desperately wanted to split myself in two and give my body a good ass kicking so it would shape up and get it's act together! But again the doctor stressed that my endometriosis was incredibly mild and I would have no problem conceiving. I even had an HSG test (they squirt a dye into my uterus and watch it get sucked into my Fallopian tubes and spill out the other end) and my tubes were given the all clear.

     The next step was to get an operation that was essentially a vacuum that would suck out the hostile fluid. The incision would be made in my belly button and a tiny tool would be inserted. The entire operation would only be an hour or so, but it was a full process, requiring 3 days off of work, someone to drive me to and from, and, oh yeah, about $1,500. $1,500?! Again I was swimming in tears. John and I were still in debt from our wedding (we paid for everything ourselves- putting it all on credit cards), and from buying our house and all of the money that comes along with that. $1,500 was not an option for us. But I put a plan together to try and slowly save the money. This was for our future child. That money seemed a paltry sum to the happiness that a family would bring us.

     At that moment, we stopped "trying." I mean, John didn't go back to pulling out, but we stopped monitoring my cycle, stopped taking ovulation tests, stopped worrying about it. I couldn't get pregnant until I had that operation, so all of the tracking and planning was just a waste of time at the moment.

     Then came the cruise. John and I were going on a cruise to celebrate the anniversary of our honeymoon. I know what you're thinking: "She should have used the cruise money for the operation." And that is a perfectly valid thought. But we had planned this cruise for 2 years, had already paid for it completely a year before, we had 4 other family and friends who were coming on this cruise to vacation with us, AND John and I desperately needed to forget about trying to conceive and just enjoy each other. I threw myself into the planning of this trip. SOOOO much prep work and organizing and logistics. Who is going to watch our house and our pets for 7 days? What am I going to wear for formal night? How can I fit everything into only one suitcase?! My husband and I were still doing the deed at least 3 times a week, but my mind was on vacation and not a baby.

     The cruise was such an amazing experience!! I made so many memories! I celebrated my 31st birthday, I got drunk 4 days out of the 7 (we had the unlimited drink package but also I'm not a drinker so 3 good drinks and I was gone!), I went zip-lining in Jamaica, horse-back riding in Mexico, and had so much delicious food that my clothes were stretching out by the 7th day! All in all it was the best adventure!

     We got back from our incredible time and it was back to the grind. Back to working every single shift I possibly could in order to save up the money for that operation. But 3 weeks later, my period hadn't come. It was actually a week late at that point. But I didn't really take note. After all, I need that operation to conceive, plus I had just spent a week traveling and I knew that traveling to other countries can effect period cycles. But a few more days past and I decided to secretly take a pregnancy test. The test was a really inexpensive one from Walgreens that I had had for awhile and while it didn't really say 'positive' I could have sworn there was a TEENY-TINY pink line in the positive window. I was pretty sure that I was just seeing things, or wishful thinking was setting in, but I woke up the next morning and decided to purchase another test. On my way to work I stopped at a drugstore and bought a name brand, more expensive test. The second I got to work I ran to the bathroom and peed on the stick. I waited for what felt like an eternity, but I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up. When the timer rang on my phone, I snatched up the stick to reveal a bright and solid pink positive line!! Naturally, I cried.

     I planned my pregnancy reveal to my husband all day and went shopping after work for the supplies. That evening I spilled the news and he was so excited. Naturally, we both cried.

Introductions

     Hello blogging world! Yes, that smiling happy girl in the picture is me. Yes, that smiling happy man is my husband. And yes, that smiling happy mouse is Mickey. This was our pregnancy announcement. The picture that would replace my engagement picture as the "most liked" post on my Facebook. This picture was the conclusion of a year of a half of trying to conceive, and all the heartache that comes along with that. This picture was the first glimpse into my life as a mother and the "magic" that is motherhood. WAIT!!! I'm getting ahead of myself now. Let's back it up...

     My name is Marisa. My husband (John) and I got married October 15, 2014 in St Pete, Florida after dating for 5 years.

     We live in Clermont, Florida (just outside Orlando) in a lovely home with our 3 dogs, 2 cats, John's parents (who just moved in last week) and John's adult cousin Matt (who also just moved in). All in all we have a full house, with a baby on the way!

     I work as a performer at Universal Studios, been there for almost 13 years now! I absolutely love my job and the company is so amazing to work for, which is why I've been there for so long! My husband works at Disney World as a staging technician, and his proficiency is in lights. Right off the bat, this baby will be able to get into the two major theme parks for free whenever she wants! #perks

     I decided to write this blog to keep track of my thoughts while I'm pregnant and throughout my new life as a mom. But, being the procrastinator that I am, I've only just started it and I'm currently 28 weeks, and 2 days pregnant! Oh well, here's to the beginning of a new journey!